I don’t know how to put this into words, but I am going to try.
I am so grateful to have so many amazing readers for Arrhythmia. I want to continue the fic. I PLAN to continue the fic. It is my favorite of all the fics I have ever written.
But right now, there is just too much happening. I need to take a hiatus when it comes to writing stories and focus on the story that is my life. The story that I am the main character of. Because if I don’t do that, I am never going to be able to write again. And writing is my life. I need to adventure out into the world and create my own stories before I can sit down and continue to write the stories of others.
When I have accomplished all that I need to accomplish, I promise that I will continue Arrhythmia. You have my word.
I am going to be very overwhelmed for the next several months, and it would mean a lot if no pressure to write was put on me. There are three things to do that would help me if you enjoy my writing.
1. You can trust that I will update, sit quietly, and wait.
2. You can find out what is happening and how to support me here.
3. You can follow the new me and send me words of encouragement here.
Writing is something that I want to do for the rest of my life. But I need to give myself a life before I can do that.
Guys, I just found out that for $1,000, I can stay at a Bed and Breakfast for a month. It’s walking distance from where I may potentially have a job waiting for me. This would give me time to find a second job, a cheap apartment with roommates, and a chance to figure out public transit without me staying on the streets. Even $5 helps. Even just a reblog helps.
This is it, guys. I have wanted to do this for 10 years - but I haven’t had the courage. But now I do. In the past ten days, two people I have been close to have killed themselves. And I don’t want that to be me. I can’t have that be me. And with the rate things are going, that is going to be me. I think that everyone knows that unless I can do something, that is going to be me. This is my solution. To everyone who is going to ask me if this is the right decision, yes. Yes, it is. It has always been my dream to pack a bag, disappear, and work to be something great, and then to give other people like me hope that they can accomplish their dreams too. So, please, if you can donate, if you can reblog, if you can do ANYTHING, please. I need to do this.
I had started a blog post a long while ago about returning home from my trip to Texas and California to move into a new apartment – but it got lost in Lamictal-induced lack of creativity. Everything seems to get lost in that lately. I have a novel to write, a blog to keep up with, and several crafts I’m working on – but psychiatric meds have a way of zapping your creativity and motivation until it is completely gone. It bothers me because I am a writer. I have been writing since I was twelve. All of my hopes and dreams for the future and the present include writing. And what’s most unfortunate is that when I can write, I’m good at it. There are few things more devastating than no longer being able to pursue your talent.
…my life is going to hell rn. Does anyone know anyone around Austin, Anaheim, or New York City who is looking for a roommate? I don’t have a lot of money right now. But starting at the end of June, I am going to need somewhere to stay until I get on my own two feet. I am desperate. I am in constant terror and I can’t live like this anymore. I need to be somewhere safe, in an area I am either familiar with or know people in, and to know that the world is not going to drop out from under me at any second. I am stuck in a terrible, hopeless place where I can’t even fend for myself and all I want is a damn shot at life. I swear to god, if anyone can help me, I will pay you back however I can as soon as I can.
It’s going to be impossible to keep everyone who wants updated on my trip updated, so, I’m just going to post everything about my trip here next month.
I’m writing!!! (…and this will last until I have another coughing fit and resume just watching movies.)
I actually had time to write this weekend…but then I got ridiculously sick. And I’m still sick. This sucks.
Okay, okay, I’m working on Arr.
I will now be doing fanfic commissions, for anyone who is interested in my writing beyond three sentence fics. (Those will still be totally free.)
I may or may not be saving money to one day run away and start a new life.If you enjoy my writing but don’t want a personalized story, feel free to please reblog and spread the word.
You can see samples of my writing here.